My Perfect Life

WARNING:  THIS BLOG IS COMPLETELY FICTITIOUS.  I DECIDED TO WRITE THIS BLOG IN THE VEIN OF THE LIFE THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE.
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Brad Pitt called again, this time he said he left his wallet in my car, whatever Brad, that was just another excuse for him to come over and bother me.

Its seems like everyone in the world wants to spend time with me ever since I discovered the cure for cancer.  I mean really, I was only doing my job as scientist and putting the pieces together of what everyone already knew.

Its been 5 years since I accepted the Nobel Peace Prize, you'd think the fame would have worn off by now, I never wanted to be celebrity, I just wanted to make a difference.

When I was younger I couldn't find a man to fuck me, now that I've become important it seems like every barista at Starbucks is leaving his phone # on my frappicino cup.

My children are almost grown now, Delilah, Zsa Zsa, and Henri'.  Who knew I was going to adopt and raise 3 beautiful children from Zimbabwe.  I do get asked where I got those names, I took Delilah  from the story of Sampson & Delilah.  I gave my eldest a strong name to let her know that shes empowered and her fate always will always remain in her hands.  I named my 2nd child Zsa Zsa after a friend I went to high school with, my high school friend was bold, fierce, and a lot of fun!  I named my only son Henri', most American's pronounce his name Henry but I've always wanted to raise a french son, which is why all 3 of my kids speak French.

Its been 4 years since my partner died, I miss you Tom.  Tom was my life partner, a good man.  For the first time in my life I didn't lust after a man because of his looks or what he drove or zip code he lived in.  By societies standards, Tom was a schlub, a common man who only cared about his children and the next season of Project Runway.  What I loved about Tom was his inner beauty, "which is truly where we're all beautiful" , he would say.

On somedays I resent Tom for leaving me three kids to raise but I knew I could do it because after all, I was raised by a single parent myself.  #how #hard #could #it #be ????

My life is full.

I think for the last 20 years of my life, I'm going to open a Ramen Noodle Shop in San Francisco.

God Speed.