When I was younger, I attended an all Native American boarding school and thats where I learned to wash away my urban upbringings and immerse myself within Native culture.
Of all sudden, I became very away of my idiosyncrasies, the way I talk, the way I walk, everything.
So in order to fit, I really had to tone it down to fit in.
I learned in my teens from the older traditional Natives that there is no such thing as being perfect, which is why some of the most beautiful Indian beadwork in the world always has a bead missing or this is an odd color bead that doesn't belong in the pattern, I bring this up because thats exactly how I'm feeling right now, I feel like the odd bead out.
So if I'm going to be a successful working artist, I need to learn how to balance these worlds.
A friend of mine once asked me if I consider myself my smart and I replied to her, "only when I need to be" .
And therein lies the solution to my dilemma.