It never occurs to me how serious I am about my art until someone mentions it.
I do socialize with a lot of artists in different diciplines and at different intervals in their lives, lately in conversations they've been referring to me as somebody whose actually doing something with their passion and it makes me feels good.
I guess in some odd way its the validation that I've always yearned for in this big party we call life.
I haven't always been this motivated and ambitious, I had to learn it the hard way.
When I was 18, I received my NDN money and held onto it as long as I could because I didn't want to be one of these typical Natives that blew all their money on partying or crashing their cars. For a brief second I did the smart thing and invested all my money into a mutual fund and enjoyed receiving dividends from time to time.
But that wasn't good enough, something was missing, my niche in life.
I knew the money I had was a big distraction so my dumb ass thought the best way to find my lifes path was to get rid of it because it felt like a crutch. So thats what I did, I met up with some old high school friends in college and the next thing you know I had 5.42 cents left in my bank account.
I figured the only way I could learn passion, drive, ambition was if I made myself completely broke and started from nothing.
Believe it or not, when you're broke you learn the value of a dollar real fast.
At the time, I was fumbling in & out of school and working minimum wage jobs. In the back of my head I kept telling myself I'm better than this.
Looking back, if I had that same amount of money today I would certainly not do those same things but as you guys can see, without those life lessons I would not be the person I am today.
There is still so much to learn. I need to learn video editing, graphic arts, a 2nd language, and so on.
Right now I do feel accomplished and it certainly didn't happen over night but I know I still have much work a head of me and I welcome it because baby, I ain't living in my dream house and I sure ain't driving my dream car, so until then, #eyesontheprize muthaf*cka's, eyes on the muthaf*ckin prize!