New Year Resolutions for 2013:
1) Seduce at least 20 straight guys.
2) Start prepping for 2014 Playmate of the Year.
3) Stop dating Black guys named Django.
4) Teach a kegel class on how to keep your ass tight.
5) Bring back the jerri curl.
6) Stop trading blow jobs for a burrito.
7) Change my name to Beyone Ballard.
8) stop getting so easily offended by stupid ass muthf*ckers
9) stop vogue-ing at McDonalds after I eat a Big Mac.
10) start giving a fuck what people think, not.