Monday, August 29, 2011


Does anyone whose not Asian or American know who these guys are?

Well apparently this all Asian boy band called, "Big Bang" , are the shit in Asia!

I'm on down time from the comedy open mic and went up the street to one of my favorite places to get a bubble tea in SF called, "Quickly" , and while I waiting for my food, on the Asian tele I'm watching 20,000 Asian fans scream for these 5 Cutie Asian guys, which by the way I think is a better name than Big Bang.

If you any kind've fetish for Asian men, these little waifers are going to blow your mind, they really are the next best thing to come out've Asia since Hello Kitty.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sweat Lodge Sistaz

This all ladies drum group is called Sweat Lodge Sistaz, they're from the Bay Area with lead singer Aurora Mamea.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Native Bling

I love Native Bling!

This pretty Native necklace is modeled by Jessica Orozco.

Thursday, August 25, 2011


Hey everyone, I've been hearing about Kreayshawn for a couple months now.

She's a lady hipster rapper bred from East Oakland.

Her youtube music video, "Gucci Gucci" , has garnered her 13 million hits and also a Best New Artist nomination at this year's VMA's.

Kreayshawn is blowing up and tonight she's playing Slim's in SF to her first sold out show.

Kreayshawn said if she wins the VMA Best New Artist award this Sunday that she's going to hollar out, "East Oakland" !!!

Go girl!


Whites Invade America

I love love love this video.

If you're a White American then you're probably not going to like watching this video.

But please, if you're white, then definitely try watching this video for your own good, you guys <--- White People, really need to hear our Indigenous point of view.

So if you're White and you got mad watching this video 4 minutes in, then stop watching, take 5 minutes to cool down and then try watching it again.

Ron Gochez made some great points and it's too bad his debate counterpart came across misinformed and really, stupid.

Kim Kardashian Wedding Photo

For everyone whose been living under a rock lately, reality television star Kim Kardashian recently got hitched to NBA Basketball star Kris Humphries this past weekend in Monticello, CA.

People Magazine got the wedding picture exclusives and posted a picture from this high profile event on their front page, the only problem, her new hubby got snubbed and it's only Kim on the front page of People Magazine.

How fucked up is that?

So with that, me being a whiz at photoshop that I am, I took the liberty of fixing the People Magazine cover for this happily ever after couple.

Linda Perry

Linda Perry, the front woman from 4 Non Blondes, was in the news lately for bashing Katy Perry. She basically said the bubble gum pop princess's music is the equivilent to microwave popcorn because her music lacks depth or any real substance. Linda also went on to say that if you're not making any real contribution to music then you probably shouldn't be making it in the first place.

Linda Perry is my new hero. She's all about artist being original and making real contributions to performance art, I totally know what she means.

It took me 20 years fuckin years to find myself and when I hear other artist talk about their committment to their craft, it makes me feel juiced and on track, so thank's girl.


Avant Garde

I dare go where other comedians won't.

Don't Do Drugs

This is why I don't do cocaine.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Adam Levine's Underwear

OMG, I was flipping threw Adam Levine's Twitter photo album and found some really cute pic's!

Let's start with his new superhero underwear collection, I use to wear these too when I was kid, back then they were called, "Under-Roo's" !

I love how Adam shows his playful side to his fans.

Everyone knows Adam is a huge Laker's fan, leave it to Adam to turn the L.A. Lakers locker room into a dramatic, "I'm an trapped artist" picture pose.

Just cute, here's his little doggie. I decided not to research his dog's name because after all, I wanted to leave him with some kind of privacy.

Make no mistake, Adam Levine is a diva. In his rider contract he demands his dressing room be decorated in birthday fashion because he wants everyone to know his birthday is everyday. Go Adam, it's your birthday, it's your birthday!

It's probably a good idea Adam is so sure of himself because I'd hate to think thousands of people are paying top dollar to see him stand on stage and say stuff like, "so is anyone else feeling awkward right now" ?


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

It's your Bday!

We just finished my mom's bday dinner at the Sausage Factory in the Castro and my mom takes the cutest pictures.

Here she is getting down her Orange Sorbet Bday dessert.

We both chuckled when we realized the orange sorbet was packed into a gutted orange.

We both thought she just got served a giant orange ice cream ball.



So Proud

OMG everybody, here's our new toilet seat and I'm so proud.

You guys don't even know the joy I felt taking my first poop in our brand new pink toilet seat.

You guys know how some people can't wait to sleep in their first bed, or sit on a sofa they just purchased at IKEA, well, I just couldn't wait to eat a big taco and go to town on this bad boy.

And I just love the color too! There's just something about a pink toilet seat that makes me feel feminine, seriously guys, I felt like Barbie on the shitter.

I don't want over exaggerate guys but I'm pretty sure I heard angels playing the harp in the background when I was done.


Happy BDay to Mom's !!

Today is my mom's Bday!

Yesterday was a doozy because I knew I wanted to make cupcakes for my mom's birthday and I knew we didn't have any of the cupcake making stuff at the house so I had to make sure I stopped by the store to pick up those things before I came home from the city.

The other thing I needed to pick up was a toilet seat replacement because my fat ass broke it the other day.

Ace Hardware was my first stop of the day. I knew Ace was only going to be open until 6pm so the toilet seat was the first thing I needed to pick up.

Before I could pick up the cupcake mix, I needed to stop by a couple comedy open mic's to try out some new jokes that I'm going to be telling at the Electric Powwow this upcoming Friday.

I tried looking for a ride home at the open mic's but that wasn't happening.

Of course this had to be the night where I got stuck carrying around all these big bags. I know some of you guys are thinking, "big bags, I thought you were only getting cupcake mix and a toilet seat" , okay, you guys know if this big girl is at the store getting cupcake mix, I also had to throw in some chips, nacho cheese, and bacon to go with the leftover eggs.

By the time I was done shopping, I had to make sure I got down to the SF Transit Center to make sure I caught the last bus back to Oakland, I guess I could've caught the last train to the Fruitvale BART station and got a taxi home but I was like, "nah, I'm too cheap to pay for a taxi, I'll just save the extra money for a sandwich tomorrow" , and plus I didn't want to deal with any problems from the BART protest going on earlier in the day.

I didn't get home until 1am and didn't start baking until 1:30am because I had to shower and install the new toilet seat which by the way wasn't easy, I mean hello, do you see Mr. GoodWrench written on me anywhere?

I finally got the cupcakes done about 2:30am and it was all totally worth it.

My mom took her cupcakes to her work and her co-workers gobbled them down, they were a hit.

So Happy Birthday mom, I would very happily walk a mile with a toilet seat to make your bday cupcakes happen and I did.

And honestly, I think she was more happy that we had a toilet seat again.


Monday, August 22, 2011

Project Runway Season 9 Episode 4

Okay fashionista's, here's a quick recap from this past week's episode of Project Runway Season 9 Episode 4.

The challenge this for this past week was to create a day to evening look for PR's judge panelist Nina Garcia.

First the winner, Kimberly Goldson. If this chica didn't get my attention the first 3 episodes, she sure did now. Her piece for Nina's day to evening look was crazy fabulous. I really liked the A-Symmetrical look in the front of the blouse, it's very European chic.

Okay next up is the 2nd place is former Miss Trinidad - Anya Ayoung Chee
I'm pretty sure everyone watching the show is pulling for Anya, not only because she's a former Miss Trinidad National but because the girl's obviously got skills. Originally she choose a honey mustard color fabric for her jumpsuit but when Nina saw the color she just about gasped. So Anya went back and colored her fabric at another designers suggestion. Now, the only problem with Anya is that her sewing skills aren't up to par with the other designers so it's going to be a matter of time before it starts to show. Hopefully not too soon, I really enjoy seeing what she comes up with! Anya is in top 3 to make it to Bryant Park for the season finale, she's a long shot but she still has a good shot. Go Anya!

My last pick top 3 pick is Bert Keeter. When it was announced that he trained under legendary designer Halsted, that was it, I just know he's going to make it to the end of the show. With this week's challenge, he really didn't put himself in the running with his plunging neck line little black dress but nonetheless, that silhouette is a classic which is why he got passed threw. I'm betting Bert is waiting for the right moment to blow the judges away.

This guy isn't one of my favorites but his dress is definitely note worthy, it's from designer Victor Luna. The only thing I didn't like about his dress is that it's very Kim Kardashian-ish. I know I saw KK wearing this dress recently at a red carpet event and he totally loses points with me for being unoriginal. I know all the designers on PR aren't entirely original because I've seen some the same outfits on "Friends" or other popular tv shows. But I will give Victor this, it is a nice dress.

See you guys next time!


Kris Humphries

Here's a picture of Kim Kardashians new hubby.

I'm not hater but this was too funny.

Thanks to CJ for sending this to me.


BART Protest

BART *Bay Area Rapid Transit* has really been fucking up lately. The Bay Area commuters depend on BART to get them to and from work, events, concerts, catching there flights at the area airports, and all together help everyone in the area leave a much less lighter carbon footprint by taking the trains.

The outrage started a while back when BART patrol officers shot and killed Oscar Grant, a New Year's reveler who got into an altercation with BART police at the Fruitvale BART station. While being held down on the ground, a BART police officer who thought he reached for his stun gun, reached for this handgun and shot him in the back, thus killing Oscar Grant.

More recently, BART patrol officers shot and killed a homeless man after he came at them with a knife.

This recent barrage of BART Protest comes from whether or not BART can legally shut down cellphone service from on subway platforms.

These cellphone closure practices question whether or not a private company who use public money have the right to restrict it's riders from using their phones, thus infringing on our first amendment right of free speech.

I really think the operable question here is when does any government agency at the local, state, or federal have the right to restrict how we send information to each other during a political protest.

This is what's happening now in the Middle East with their social uprisings. The government shut down cell phone service because they didn't want their protesters communicating with each other via Twitter, Facebook, and other social networks.

The BART Protest are scheduled again for this evenings commute and I just might have to go down and let BART know how I feel.

I love BART but anyone who trys to take away my WiFi has got to go.


Saturday, August 20, 2011

Kim Kardashian - Bitch Please

If I read one more headline about Kim Kardashian's "royal wedding" , I'm going to spit on myself.

The term Royal is usually reserved for families who come from real kingdoms, who are real heads of state, who have real sovereignty over their nations, and certainly who don't make themselves famous by suckin dick on a digital camcorder.

Granted, the Kardashians have done very well for themselves but to call them royalty is a bit extreme.

Let's look at the last big royal wedding of Prince William and Kate. Now that was a super pimped out wedding. The Royal family of England paid thousands of dollars to have Kate's favorite tree's in their Church on her wedding day because they reminded her of the forest.

I mean really, what kind've high class ornaments is Kim going to have at her wedding, nice tin cups for the cheese spread?

I guess, if making a sex tape makes Kim royalty, then I'm a princess for all the times I've been on my knee's, way before it was ever considered royal.


Friday, August 19, 2011

Dan Savage - Bad Foot Fetish Advice

Hey guys, I was reading Dan Savage's sex advice column and he recently gave some shitty advice to one of his readers concerning foot sex, my response is at the end, enjoy.


Heres what a reader wrote in:

I'm a 20-year-old gay male and I entered into a relationship with a guy at the beginning of the summer. The sex has always been really good, but I'm worried about pleasing him. He disclosed early on that he has a foot fetish. Sex usually consists of him topping me while sucking my toes or me jerking him off while he's fondling the bottoms of my feet. I don't have any problem with him getting off to my feet. My problem with the whole ordeal is this: I don't know diddly about foot fetishism. I tried Google, but my results weren't much better than "Foot fetishism is the most common form of sexual fetishism from an otherwise nonsexual object or body part, and it's different depending on who you're fucking." Not very helpful.

I've talked to my boyfriend about what I can do to make things better and what he likes, but he's so bashful about the subject that I haven't gotten any information save "I prefer the soles of your feet." I have tried experimenting with things like footjobs (which didn't work out very well because I had no idea what I was doing), and not knowing what else to do is frustrating.

I am currently studying in France until the end of August, and I want to surprise him with my newfound knowledge on his kink and new ways to get him off. What should I know? What would you recommend? And could you fill me in on proper footjob technique?

Seeking Orgasm Level Escalation


Heres what Dan said:

Male foot fetishists—the straight ones, anyway—will tell you that they react to feet the way most straight guys react to tits: aroused by the sight of 'em, want to do stuff to 'em. Some wanna suck 'em, some wanna fuck 'em, and some kinksters wanna safely, sanely, and consensually "torture" 'em. In other words, SOLE, it's different depending on who the woman with the tits in question happens to be fucking.

Same goes for foot fetishists: Some wanna suck 'em, some wanna fuck 'em, some wanna "torture" 'em. (That's called "bastinado," and it should only be done safely, sanely, and consensually.) To find out what a particular foot fetishist enjoys most, you'll have to ask the foot fetishist who's enjoying your feet.

Your boyfriend probably finds it hard to talk about his fetish because he feels ashamed, needlessly so, and may have been rejected or mocked by previous partners when he opened up about his kink. (To avoid making his bashfulness worse, SOLE, avoid using terms like "problem" and "ordeal" when discussing his kink.) It's possible that the stuff you're doing for him now—sticking your toes in his mouth while he fucks you, jerking him off while he fondles your feet—fulfills all of his fantasies. Keep doing what you're doing now, SOLE, and as his confidence levels about his kink and your relationship both grow, he'll become less bashful about discussing his kink.

As for a proper footjob: Bring the bottoms of your feet together and let him fuck the gap between your soles with his lubed-up cock, titty-fucking style, or have him lie on the floor while you sit on the edge of the bed and move the lubed-up sole of one of your feet back and forth across his cock until he blows his load. Have fun!


Heres what I said:


as one of your long time avid readers, it's becoming clear to me that your sex advice is either from Wikipedia or something you have no bering on whatsoever, case in point with your 20 year old gay male who didn't know how to satisfy his foot fetish boyfriend.

I'm not a foot fetish person per se but when I did date a guy with a foot fetish, there were a few things that came natural to me like dipping my toes in chocolate and having him lick it off, or laying on my back while I twisted his nipples with my toes, or giving him a sensual facial foot massage with my toes and feet to his head, making sure to hit the eye sockets and eyebrows, while slowly caressing his face & head with my feet, and yes he fuckin loved it. And especially, no one ever told me to stretch my legs out beforehand because my legs and calves would cramp after giving this guy an Olympic style foot job. I'll give you props for knowing to sit on the edge of the bed while having him lay underneath you so you can jack him off with your feet. The trick is to have one foot propped behind his penis while your other foot rubs the base of the penis until he blows his load.  Have plenty of lube on hand or should I say, have plenty of lube on feet because a slippery foot feels just as good as a slippery hand, vagina, or asshole.

I've seen some really shitty foot fetish porn where all they do is just lick each others toes for the first minute and then fuck each others brains out for the remaining 59 minutes of the porn with nothing to do with feet. This is how I would equate your advice lately, either start giving more accurate and accountable sex advice or its time to get out of the game.

Sleepless in San Francisco

Waiting for Giovanni - James Baldwin

How many of you know who James Baldwin is?

James Baldwin was one of America's most prominent Black Gay authors of the 20th century.

James Arthur Baldwin (August 2, 1924 – December 1, 1987) was an American novelist, essayist, playwright, poet, and civil rights activist.

Baldwin's essays, for instance the booklength essay No Name in the Street, explore palpable yet unspoken intricacies of racial, sexual, and class distinctions in Western societies, most notably in mid-20th century America, vis-à-vis their inevitable if unnameable tensions with personal identity, assumptions, uncertainties, yearning, and questing.[1]

His novels and plays fictionalize fundamental personal questions and dilemmas amid complex social and psychological pressures thwarting the equitable integration of not only blacks yet also of male homosexuals—depicting as well some internalized impediments to such individuals' quest for acceptance—namely in the novel Giovanni's Room, written well before the equality of homosexuals was widely espoused in America.[2] Baldwin is best known for his novel Go Tell It on the Mountain. - Wikepedia

Sometime in early January of 2000, I was bouncing in and out of college and one semester I decided to stay home to work at the now defunct TGIF in Jack London Square of Oakland.

While there, I was fortunate enough to meet and work with so many nice people and one of them happened to be William Hunter, a young aspiring Black Queer actor. When I met this William, he was brimming with this fierce Shakespearean larger than life persona and you could just tell there was something special about him.

Flash forward to August 19th, 2011., on the BART train home, I was reading the B.A.R. *Bay Area Reporter* and guess whose picture I saw in the calender feature section, that's right, Miss William Hunter herself and he's playing the lead role in Jewelle Gomez's adaption of James Baldwin's book, "Giovanni's Room" .

The adaption play, "Waiting for Giovanni" , is based on the life and times of James Baldwin.

Here's the promo pic for tonight's opening show with William holding his hands over the typewriter.

Once in a great while you'll hear an actor say, "I was born to play that role" . I heard Beyonce say that about her role in Dreamsgirls and I also heard Whoopi Goldberg say that about her role in the Color Purple.

I can honestly say that William Hunter was born to play James Baldwin. Ohhh... I just got chills writing that.

I am so looking forward to watching tonight's opening show at the New Conservatory Theater in SF. That's right, I got the last ticket to what is sure going to be a smash hit on Broadway.

Trust me, William can do no wrong tonight. All he has to do it show up and give it!

Go William!


Thursday, August 18, 2011

So Sorry

I had to take my google ad's down from my blog because I didn't get one single blog hit today. This is so like me to fuck up something I've been working on for such a long time.

I really hate to jump the gun but I really haven't gotten 0 hits in a single day for a long time.

Is my celebrity fading?

Did people finally stop giving a shit about what I have to say or think?

Either way, I don't care.

This has always been my semi-personal blog. I could give a rat's ass if people think I'm relevant or not.

When I started this, I wanted to something to track my career in entertainment but one day I got tired of talking about comedy so it blossomed into everything else.

And the fact that I wanted to share my thoughts with everyone, that was extra.

I use to keep journals with me when I was kid and ended up throwing them all away. So my thought was to keep an online journal and because it would be harder for me to discard my notes if I didn't keep them with me all the time.

I'm not gonna lie, lately my motivation to write has come from other people and not so much from myself. I really did get away from personal blogging because I know better then to write my personal shit on here for everyone to see and besides, I'm pretty sure no one on here wants to hear me bitch and complain about people I don't like, that's such a waste of time and energy.

So I guess that's I how want to wrap this one up, if my boring mature blogs are too tame for my readers, then go read somebody else's fucking blog.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Maryeve Dufault

Go girl, Nascar has a new driver and her name is Maryeve Dufault. She's a Canadian driver who use to model for the Price is Right.

She recently used her model earnings to pay for tires and equipment.

I'm guessing she's banking on getting picked by on a sponser that is if she's doesn't die in a firery NASCAR inferno crash.

Good luck honey, we'll be watching!


Sunday, August 14, 2011

Buffy Sainte-Marie

Tonight we're heading over to Yoshi's in Oakland to watch Buffy St. Marie, a Native American folk singer from the 60's. This chick is legendary and I'm really looking forward to watching her play.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

SF Theater Festival 2011

I had a really great time hosting the San Francisco Theater Festival this past Sunday at Fort Mason.

I honestly really didn't think I was going to make it this year because I didn't get in until 5am the night before and then I had to be up at Fort Mason by 11:30am.

That's what I get for missing my first latenight bus back to Oakland, shit, my fat ass got hungry for a Krispy Kreme donut so I went to the gas station and ended up missing the 2am bus. Then, like a stupid ass I was waiting for a bus down Market, which never showed up and that's how I missed my 3am connection.

By this time, I was like literally looking for a motel room on Market St. and wouldn't you know I couldn't find one, everyone's motel was booked.

Needless to say after all that walking, I finally made it home.

Getting home so late, I was also worried that I might not be fresh for the all the plays I was going to host.

Fortunately, my witts were with me.

I really had a great time with the SF Theater Festival, I laughed, I cried, I saw so many great performers and felt really lucky to be apart of it.

One of my favorite performers of the day was Ryan Hayes. He did a 30 minute solo piece based on Walt Witman's poetry about gay relationshiops. It was almost like he was reciting modern day Shakespeare. I also loved how he was pulling men from the audience and flirting with them in his monologue, sound familiar?

I was moved by his performance so much, when he was done, I asked if I could respond to his monologue with a short improvised piece that I wrote on the spot while he was performing, and really my response was to why he was picking the cute men in the audience and not me, here it is:

Fuck You Walt Whitman
by Charlie Ballard

Why do you chooseth him and not me?
is it his fair skin
is it plush eyes
or his galavanting crock's?

Why not chooseth me
and suckle from my bossum?
Do my water fountains not fill your void?

Only now do you realize what you've
been looking for stand
in frontith of you
with your eyes wide shut.

Because you see with
your eyes and not with your heart,
I can only offer you
one body part
passing, my palm,
because you are not the bomb.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Greg Proops

I went to the Punchline Comedy Club last night in San Francisco to watch Comedian Greg Proops do his live podcast, "The Smartest Man in the World" , and he was astonishing from beginning to end. Greg is not be missed, totally check him out at a comedy club or listen to his free online podcast when you get a chance. Greg's comedic wit represents the standard of American intellect.

With that being said, Greg is one the crackiest comedians on the comedy scene and he doesn't hide his drug addiction, in fact, if you listen to his recent podcast from SF he talks about how much weed he smokes and we're talking a lot.

I always thought people who smoked weed were lazy, unmotivated, and craved Twinkies all day. Greg is a testament to quite the opposite, it's amazing how he's able to string together so many tangent thoughts and make sensible cohesion out've them.

I hate to think his comedy is symptomatic but hey if it is, it's really entertaining.

Crazy people are funny, right?

At the end, he wrapped up his show by quoting many famous poets including Gene Wilder's character Willy Wonka from the movie, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" , are you fucking kidding me?

Does quoting text from childhood stories make his art less profound & completely far fetched, not at all, in fact it's makes his show cute, endearing and very charming.

Recently I was watching a politician quote a line from the movie, "Kung Fu Panda" , and I was like, "yeah, preach it sister" , but then again, that politician could've been a chronic base too and also have an affinity for quoting childhood limericks.

However you look at it, Greg is a master of the satirical, finding those subtle little ironic nuances that make his audiences bow over in laughter, the man is sheer genius and the probably the closet person we'll ever find to Willa Wonka himself.

Love yeah lots Mr. Proops.


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Jesus Jokes

1) Today's technology has made it a lot easier going to church, now a days if people want to send God a prayer they just tweet him.

2) How do you know if the Creator has answered your prayer on the Internet? Because your prayer is trending.

3) A Christian approached me this afternoon and said, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior" and I said, "throw in a 3 piece meal from KFC and you got me" .

4) Jesus invented the first snuggie.

5) I just prayed to Jesus to see if he thought my Jesus jokes were funny and he pursed his lips.

6) If anyone has a sense of humor it's Jesus. The first day he was resurrected he said, "c'mon guys, were my sermon's really that bad" ?

7) The bible was originally a cookbook.

8) "Women shall inherit the earth" , was originally a term coined from Jesus's first divorce.

9) It's ironic that the one day of the week Jesus doesn't want to you work is his busiest.

10) Jesus loves every way how his gospel has spread but thinks the "Drive Thru Jesus" , idea was a bit over the top.

Melissa Villasenor Top 48

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


I read in one Margaret Cho's write up's that she said went back to drinking.

As much as I wanted to be surprised, I wasn't.

A big reason why I was such a fan of her's in the first place was because she managed to get away from that party lifestyle and blossom into this amazing person with high ideals.

I suppose she can still be this amazing person with these incredible convictions but somehow, she seems less authentic to me now.

I've been around many drunks and many base heads long enough to know when somebody is blowing smoke up my ass, so that's what keeps me skeptical.

Do I know the whole story why she went back to using, not at all.

And I'm sure whatever the reason why she went back using, she keeps it between herself and her therapist.

The best I can say to her as one of her longtime fans is that I hope she's being truthful with herself and hope she manages to find peace and happiness, however she finds it.


Monday, August 1, 2011

Up in Smoke

Wow, I'm so fucking glad July is over. I'm pretty sure my lungs are glad July is over too.

I pretty much spent the entire month smoking up a storm on Camel Crush cigarettes. I tried the new red bold flavor Camel Crush pack and thought those were too strong, they gave me such a headache.

I'm happy I still have enough will power to drop smoking when I want to.

I seriously quit smoking cigarettes when I was 19. (Circ 1993) And when I say seriously, I mean I can put them down without craving them or having them spin my life out've control.

Since 93, I've probably been backsliding on cigarettes for more than a couple years, mostly because of religious reasons and funerals, lately it's been because of stress.

The last time I stopped was November of last year and that was when I was stressing. And to be honest, for the life of me I can't remember what I was stressing about? I think I had more to stress about this year when I wasn't smoking.

This last time around my smoking binge was inspired or should I say triggered by my cousin Allison in Virginia Beach. I wanted to spend time with her and thought what a better way to socialize with her then over a Newport.

I'm trying to figure out how I would classify myself as a smoker, maybe a casual smoker?

Smoking hasn't fucked my life up like alcohol did but yet I'm okay with smoking casually.

I enjoy it, there's something relaxing about blowing smoke out've my mouth, it does make me feel cool, and this is probably going to kill everyone reading this but it also gives me something to do.

I know, I know... what a flakey excuse to be active.

Smoking also brings the hypocrite out've me.

For instance, when I home I hate the smell of smoke and I detest any smoke odor coming from my brother's room, so when his smoke disturbs my sleep, there's hell to pay.

But when I'm binging, the smoke odor all over my hands and clothes is the last thing on my mind.

Do you know what's funny, my horoscope said to go on vacation or take a break from my everyday routine and that's exactly what I've been doing.

So that's what I did, I gave myself a one month stretch to smoke my brains out. One month is good because I plan on being active again and I really don't want to smoke long enough where it drys out my face and gives me wrinkles faster then I want them.

Since quitting yesterday, I know I'm going to miss getting some good sleep because for the past couple of weeks I've been dreaming really good.

There's something about tobacco that puts my ass to sleep and makes my dreams vivid and clear. Recently I had a good one where I was with I was my Hualapai family and we were swinging on these long vines from a tree. And I remember feeling the joy and happiness knowing we were all together having fun, even a friend who recently past was with us.

A while ago I met this South American guy I met online said his Indigenous culture believes that when you smoke tobacco, you requesting to talk to your God, maybe so because my dreams have been becoming more spiritual lately, which is fine.

So I guess when the tobacco and nicotine finally leave my system, I'm gonna go back to dreaming about my usual things, hot dogs, cottencandy and hot gay men.

Have a good one everyone!


Dolly Parton

Dolly Apologizes to Lesbian Couple
By Jeremy Kinser
Advocate Magazine

Dolly Parton has issued an apology to the lesbian couple who felt discriminated against at Dollywood last month, saying she's sorry for "the hurt or embarrassment," reports ABC News.

As Advocate reported July 20, Olivier Odom and Jennifer Tipton and the children of a friend were stopped at the entrance to Parton's popular Tennessee theme park when a gatekeeper noticed Odom wearing a T-shirt that read "Marriage Is So Gay." Odom was instructed her to turn the shirt inside out before her party could enter Dollywood.

Parton's statement reads: "I am truly sorry for the hurt or embarrassment regarding the gay and lesbian t-shirt incident at Dollywood's Splash Country recently. Everyone knows of my personal support of the gay and lesbian community. Dollywood is a family park and all families are welcome." Parton adds that the policies on clothing or signs with profanity or controversial messages are in place to protect the person wearing the shirt and keep disturbances at the park to a minimum. Parton adds, "I am looking further into the incident and hope and believe it was more policy than insensitivity. I am very sorry it happened at all."

Parton, a longtime advocate of equality and civil rights, is currently on tour to promote her latest album Better Day.