Friday, August 19, 2011

Dan Savage - Bad Foot Fetish Advice

Hey guys, I was reading Dan Savage's sex advice column and he recently gave some shitty advice to one of his readers concerning foot sex, my response is at the end, enjoy.

xoxo

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Heres what a reader wrote in:

I'm a 20-year-old gay male and I entered into a relationship with a guy at the beginning of the summer. The sex has always been really good, but I'm worried about pleasing him. He disclosed early on that he has a foot fetish. Sex usually consists of him topping me while sucking my toes or me jerking him off while he's fondling the bottoms of my feet. I don't have any problem with him getting off to my feet. My problem with the whole ordeal is this: I don't know diddly about foot fetishism. I tried Google, but my results weren't much better than "Foot fetishism is the most common form of sexual fetishism from an otherwise nonsexual object or body part, and it's different depending on who you're fucking." Not very helpful.

I've talked to my boyfriend about what I can do to make things better and what he likes, but he's so bashful about the subject that I haven't gotten any information save "I prefer the soles of your feet." I have tried experimenting with things like footjobs (which didn't work out very well because I had no idea what I was doing), and not knowing what else to do is frustrating.

I am currently studying in France until the end of August, and I want to surprise him with my newfound knowledge on his kink and new ways to get him off. What should I know? What would you recommend? And could you fill me in on proper footjob technique?

Seeking Orgasm Level Escalation


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Heres what Dan said:

Male foot fetishists—the straight ones, anyway—will tell you that they react to feet the way most straight guys react to tits: aroused by the sight of 'em, want to do stuff to 'em. Some wanna suck 'em, some wanna fuck 'em, and some kinksters wanna safely, sanely, and consensually "torture" 'em. In other words, SOLE, it's different depending on who the woman with the tits in question happens to be fucking.

Same goes for foot fetishists: Some wanna suck 'em, some wanna fuck 'em, some wanna "torture" 'em. (That's called "bastinado," and it should only be done safely, sanely, and consensually.) To find out what a particular foot fetishist enjoys most, you'll have to ask the foot fetishist who's enjoying your feet.

Your boyfriend probably finds it hard to talk about his fetish because he feels ashamed, needlessly so, and may have been rejected or mocked by previous partners when he opened up about his kink. (To avoid making his bashfulness worse, SOLE, avoid using terms like "problem" and "ordeal" when discussing his kink.) It's possible that the stuff you're doing for him now—sticking your toes in his mouth while he fucks you, jerking him off while he fondles your feet—fulfills all of his fantasies. Keep doing what you're doing now, SOLE, and as his confidence levels about his kink and your relationship both grow, he'll become less bashful about discussing his kink.

As for a proper footjob: Bring the bottoms of your feet together and let him fuck the gap between your soles with his lubed-up cock, titty-fucking style, or have him lie on the floor while you sit on the edge of the bed and move the lubed-up sole of one of your feet back and forth across his cock until he blows his load. Have fun!


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Heres what I said:

Dan,

as one of your long time avid readers, it's becoming clear to me that your sex advice is either from Wikipedia or something you have no bering on whatsoever, case in point with your 20 year old gay male who didn't know how to satisfy his foot fetish boyfriend.

I'm not a foot fetish person per se but when I did date a guy with a foot fetish, there were a few things that came natural to me like dipping my toes in chocolate and having him lick it off, or laying on my back while I twisted his nipples with my toes, or giving him a sensual facial foot massage with my toes and feet to his head, making sure to hit the eye sockets and eyebrows, while slowly caressing his face & head with my feet, and yes he fuckin loved it. And especially, no one ever told me to stretch my legs out beforehand because my legs and calves would cramp after giving this guy an Olympic style foot job. I'll give you props for knowing to sit on the edge of the bed while having him lay underneath you so you can jack him off with your feet. The trick is to have one foot propped behind his penis while your other foot rubs the base of the penis until he blows his load.  Have plenty of lube on hand or should I say, have plenty of lube on feet because a slippery foot feels just as good as a slippery hand, vagina, or asshole.

I've seen some really shitty foot fetish porn where all they do is just lick each others toes for the first minute and then fuck each others brains out for the remaining 59 minutes of the porn with nothing to do with feet. This is how I would equate your advice lately, either start giving more accurate and accountable sex advice or its time to get out of the game.

Sleepless in San Francisco

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