Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Etta James: I'd Rather Go Blind

This blog is dedicated to my friend Sarah. She put Beyonce's remake version of this song on her facebook page. I love Beyonce but this is Etta's song threw & threw.

Most artists who remake the originals never do it justice.

I love this song and the lyrics but dang if it came down to it, I think I'll probably just end up getting a dog and keep my eyesight.

xoxo


It Gets Bitter/Better: Matt Siegel

This video is too funny! This is a comedy sketch parody inspired by the "It Gets Better" campaign to stop bullying and gay teenage suicide.


Monday, November 29, 2010

Loretta Lynn - Coal Miner's Daughter

Here she is folks - Loretta Lynn.

Most American children such as myself grew up watching the Loretta Lynn story on televsion aptly named - Coal Miner's Daughter.

To any my foreign readers, if you guys truly wanna understand contemporary American culture, this is definitely one of the big classics to start with.

Also on the approved Charlie Ballard movie watching list: Wizard of Oz, Madonna: Truth or Dare, Little Man Tate, Heathers, Showgirls, and Kill Bill Vol 1 & 2


Bat Shit Crazy

is how this song by Patsy Cline makes me feel sometimes.

Here are the lyrics to one of my all time favorite songs! I'm telling, this song is timeless!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazy.

I'm crazy for feeling so lonely.

I'm crazy for feeling so blue.

I knew, you'd love me as long as you wanted, and then someday you'd leave me somebody new.

Worry.

Why do I let myself worry?

Wondering what in the world did I do?

Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you.

I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying and I'm crazy for loving you!

Crazy for thinking my that love could hold you.

I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying and I'm crazy for loving you!


Last Weeks Flavor

Okay, I couldn't figure out why I have this thing for current hottie American actor Chris Messina and then I was like, "oh that's right, he reminds me of Mark Ruffalo" .



Many of you are probably familiar with American actor Mark Ruffalo. The last really good movie that I liked him in was Blindness co-starring Julian Moore. I liked him in the Zodiac too but what killed it for me was the movie he did with Reese Witherspoon, Just Like Heaven, where he plays some dude who was trying to hook up with Reese's ghost. After that I was pretty much done with Mark.

It makes sense why right now I'm attracted Chris Messina, we're both the same age (36) and I've pretty much been complaining to the world why I can't find a decent dude to date my own age. Granted Chris is married and has kids, that's fine, but I'm definitely looking for that type, without the kids and the marriage of course.

Chris looks Italian but he could be Greek, if anyone knows for sure, please leave a comment below.

Here's Chris Messina one more time, isn't he just dreamy?

xoxo

Flavor of the Week

OMG! (oh my god) <--- for my foreign readers!

I just got threw watching Julia & Julia again for like the 20th time and it keeps getting better and better. I love watching this movie because it has everything that I love in a romantic comedy, boning and cooking..

And here's my eye candy for this movie co-star - Chris Messina.
He is soooooo me. If I'd want to hook up with any man in this life, I really hope he turns to be anything like Chris Messina. Oh gawd what a hottie!

I know this word was overly used in Julia & Julia but when I look at Chris Messina, yum!

xoxo


Shewired - Sarah Palin on the Media Victimizing Poor Willow for Making Antigay Slurs

This is the reason why I don't want Sarah Palin to be the next Prsident of the United States.

I have a problem with any future President using the word hater in their vocabulary.


Shewired - Sarah Palin on the Media Victimizing Poor Willow for Making Antigay Slurs

Woody Guthrie- This Land Is Your Land

It was hard growing up American Indian because everytime in school we had to sing, "This Land is Your Land" , by Woodie Guthrie, I could never sing it all the way threw without saying out loud: "You're damn right this is my land..."


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Empowerment

One of my artist friends asked me to explain how my art empowers other people, here's my response.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

International Blog Reader Contest

Hey guys! I just learned how to use the Google translator on the Internet and I can't decide which langauage to use for my first International blog?

So I decided let my International blog readers help me on this one.

At the end of each month, whioh ever country I get the most hits from is the language I'm going to use for a special blog dedicated to that country. For instance, for the month of November, I got 48 hits from South Korea!

So here's a special little note to all my South Korean reader(s) in there native language!

한국 남성은 정상입니다.
그들이 내 옷을 벗고 나와 해당 국가의 체포 얻을 것이다 장소에서 자신을 간질 싶어합니다.
그것은 항상 한국 사람이 샌드위치에 내 꿈 이었으니까요. 당신이 피클이있다면 난 탕수육이있어!

xoxo

Chimichanga

I should probably go excercise, I feel so guilty for taking all the fine menz with my big booty, its like all the fine men want me to keep eat chimichanga's so my big ass won't go away. :O


Guy - Wanna Get With U

Hey now! This use to my jam back in the 90's! I wonder whatever happened to these guys because they sure knew how to groove me.

xoxo


Friday, November 26, 2010

Hey World !!

Welcome to my blog! I'd like to welcome all the International folks who've been stopping to read my blog lately. For some reason, I thought most of my blog hits were coming from the states but to my great surprise people from all over the world have been visiting my blog, so thank you! Today I just had somebody visit from Nigeria. Wow!

I suppose formal introductions are a little late considering I've been blogging on here for about a year now but here it goes.

My name is Charlie Ballard and most of you may have seen my Outlaugh comedy clip circulating on youtube or facebook, right now it has about 70,000 hits on youtube. It'd probably have about a 100,000 hits by now if the person who originally downloaded the podcast didn't delete it. The reason why she deleted it was because everytime someone left a nasty commment, I would log in and leave a nasty little comment back to the person who was talking shit, I was saying stuff like, "what the fuck is your problem, why you gotta be such an asshole" , so seeing as it was becoming more of a problem, that's why she decided to let it go, and that's when I decided to download it and start dealing with all the drama myself. It hasn't been all drama, I've gotten about 90% of positive feedback. Here's one of my favorite picture stills from the show:



That clip is about 4 years old and it definitely introduced me to the world, and still does.

Okay so like I said, that clip is 4 years old and I'm not trying to be that forever. The only problem is that I've tried to get my other work out there and I've had a bunch of doors slammed in my face. A big one this year was with America's Got Talent, I was able to get on the tv show but those fuckers booed me off the stage because they didn't want to hear any my gay jokes. So where does this leave me, I have to prove those assholes that they were wrong and show them there is a market for my brand of entertainment. Hollywood is weird when it comes gay entertainers. Their characters and stories are geared towards specific genders and archetypes, meaning that if I wanted to get work as an openly gay artist, I'd have to play a hairdressor, a cheer coach, some bitches gay BFF. Fuck that, I consciencely made a decision coming into this knowing and believing that I'm going to mold my own destiny and be whatever the fuck I want to be.

And speaking of personal will, my first live stand up comedy DVD is being cut & edited as we speak. As soon as it's ready, I'm going to start subimitting it to Native and LGBT film festivals all over. So rather than wait for some asshole to give me an opportunity, I'm going to do it myself, and get my shit out there myself! Yeah boy-ee!! <<--- that's 1990's rapper slang from Chuck D and Flavor Flay

I'm still a celebrity in training and have gotten better at dealing with the public. Instead of lashing out and leaving negative comments back at the haters, I just decided not to respond to them anymore.

I'm sure most of you may have tracked me down threw my website and that's awesome. Thanks for clicking you way here to my blogs!

I decided to start blogging a couple of years ago out've sheer boredom. I'm glad I stuck with it because my stand up comedy career has been quite a journey and I'm glad I've been logging it. If you guys flip threw this past year, you'll find all kinds of blogs about comedy, sex, and food.

Actually, my most read blog on here is:

How to Make Love like a Gay Man

Go to the month of April and you'll find it there.

I really do love blogging because for me, it's my outlet. If something is pissing me off or annoying me, more than likely this is place where I'm going to talk about it. Blogging consistantly has turned out to be a great form of therapy for me.

Warning!
When I'm feeling raw, explicit, nasty and low down dirty, then that's how I'm going to write. I don't feel like that all the time but when I do, I don't hold back. But like I was saying earlier, I do strive for variety in my blogs and try to cover as many topics as possible so my readers don't get finicky. <-- that's an expression used for restless cats when they eat the same cat food all the time.

I don't mean to draw a visual for everything I write but since I have a few International readers, most of thema probably aren't familiar with American customs or slang, that's why I have to fill them in.

Alright guys, I really can't express enough gratitude for everyone stopping by to see how my days are going, feel free to flip threw my posts and I love hearing from you guys and so do my other readers.

xoxo

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Square One

Hey ya'll, here's something I haven't done in a while - latenight blogging.

It's about 11:45pm and Thanksgiving is almost over. I hope everyone got to spend time with their loved ones. And if you didn't well then get your ass out've your house and go meet some people.

My new blog, the one you guys are reading, *duh*, is averaging about a 100 hits a day. That's okay because before this month, I never use to put that much time & energy into promoting or maintaining it. On my old myspace blog, I was getting up to almost a 1000 hits a week so I'm sure you guys could see the big up hill climb with starting over on this one. That's fine because it took me a minute to get it my old myspace blog to that point and now I know what it takes to get it there, so here we go again!

Here's my quick recap for today, we went and saw Burlesuqe with Cher & Christina Aguilera, it was a really good and I'd totally recommend seeing it. I really enoyed watching Cher do her thing on screen after all she is a legend.

Before hand we went to this little vegan soul food place off Broadway near the Jack London Waterfront. In America, the soul food genre is homecooking style popularized by African Americans from the South. Some of their well known dishes are cornbread, collard greens, catfish, mac & cheese, and other delictables. So you guys could imagine what kind've spin they put on there vegan dishes. We ordered the mash potato's, mac & cheese, cornbread, and peach cobbler. All of it was delicious! Most people don't know about this eatery because the Jack London Sqaure business district is going threw an economic low. I used to work for several restaurants in the area that have long since vanished.

Looking on the bright side, Oakland Mayor elect Jean Quan is pushing for a new ballpark to be built right next to Jack London Square, so when that happens, you guys can best believe that area is going to be poppin and that little vegan soul food place will probably have a line out the door, yes it was that good. It's too bad they're vegan restaurant, I'm sure they'd make great ribs.

Speaking of which, Evert & Jones BBQ was closed so that's why went to the vegan soul food place, so if anyone's in the area and has never been to Evert & Jones, go, espeically if it's your first timer to the Bay Area. I could go on about Evert & Jones but just take my word for it and go.

Okay now where was I before I started to make this another one of my foodie blogs?

Oh yeah, it's Black Friday tomorrow which means there's going to be a shit load of people shopping out. For my restuarant, it's the busiest day of the year and we're expecting a very long day at work. We're pretty close to Bloomingdales and all the other shopping areas downtown so that's where we get most of our foot traffic.

I told my boss that I'd be bringing in donuts for our crew. Our previous management team use to do that for us and since we got new management, they stopped. And since I'm getting reimbursed for being a team player, you guys know I'm going to be loading up on jelly's, maples & chocoalate long johns and if my other co-workers don't like it well then too bad, more for me.

xoxo

Official BURLESQUE Trailer - In Theaters 11/24

Saw Burlesque and Christina Aguilera was the right choice to play opposite of Cher. I thought Lady Gaga would've been a great contender to play this part but then the whole "acting thing" made Christina the clear favorite. And plus, Lady Gaga is in danger of becoming too much like Madonna, campy and not translatable for serious film dramas.





National Geographic Photo contest



I wanted to enter this picture in the National Geographic Amateur Photography contest but I couldn't remember how to change the pixels of the image, somebody showed my once but you guys know how that goes...

So anyhoo, here's the picture I wanted to enter, it's a picture of the Fruitvale BART Station in Oakland. I had several of my Oakland friends ask me where I took this picture because they said it looked very exotic and far away. You guys could imagine there chuckles and surprise when I told them it was from down the street.

xoxo

Dear South Korea Blog Fan(s)

I hope you are safe. If you live in the area where the recent attacks have occured, please leave with your family/friends and find shelter away from the violence. I really hope your Nations will be able to solve their problems without hurting innocent people.

Your welfare and being will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Stay safe!

xoxo
cb

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Huffington Post

Hey kids, I just applied for a job with the Huffington Post as a Comedy Editor, isn't that nuts?

If some of you aren't familiar with the Huffington Post, the Huffington Post is a Liberal/Progressive American news website. The namesake and news group was co-founded by Ariana Huffington. Ariana is of Greek descent. She used to be a Republican but now is a conservative liberal, which means she knows how to pee standing up.



She use to be a married to a Millionaire Michael Huffington who later turned out be a bisexual, which probably explains why he's from Indiana, I mean really, if I was from Indiana I'd probably be bisexual too, what else is there do in Indiana besides each other?

Ariana has too many writing accolades to list but her most notable effort was running as an Independent in the California Governor recall election of 2003. And honestly, I don't even remember seeing her name on the ballot. That year as a proud Californian I voted for Gary Coleman, for many of you whom remember as the beloved cast member of the popular family sitcom from the 80's, "Different Strokes" . I voted for Gary because of all the candidates running, he was the only one who made his politcal stance clear on every social and politcal issue. Which I might mention that Arnold "The Terminator" Schwarzenegger failed to do other than making cameo's in bad movies from the 90's.



In a twist of sorts, her exhusband Micheal Huffington endorsed Arnold in his campaign for Governor over his ex-wife Ariana, probably because he thought he chance with the Terminator.

xoxo

Country Songs

Hey ya'll, I'm branching out into the country music genre, here are some of the songs I've been working on:

"I should've took your man"
"I'm so glad I didn't take your man, he's disgusting"
"Rodeo Queen"
"Come Lasso my Heart"
"Cowboys Don't Cry unless they Wear Mascara"
"Hee Haw Hey Girl"
"Giddy Yup Santa's Little Reindeer" <-- X-mas song
"The Poop Scoop Shuffle"
"There's a Tear in my Chardonnay"
"I'm not a Cowboy, I'm a Cow Person"

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Haiku Poem

I love Cheeseburgers
they fill my belly with joy
until I go poop

Monday, November 22, 2010

LGBT Children's Book Titles

Hey ya'll, I'm thinking about writing some LGBT children's books, here are some of the titles I came up with:

"The Little Trannie Who Could"
"Pop goes the Pissed Off Lesbian"
"Daddy's Boyfriends & Girlfriends"
"My Two Uncles"
"Jane and her Cats"
"I Saw Mommie Kissing Mrs. Santa Claus"
"Lions, Tigers, and Twinks"
"Rainbows and Dance Hall Diva's"
"The Tomboy and the Princess"
"Gay means Happy"
"Fairies and Pizza"

I know Exactly How This Guy Feels !

All fluffy and no one to hug!

Pre-Thanksgiving Blog

Thanksgiving is an American holiday when we gather with our families and friends to give thanks for everything they have. The original concept of Thanksgiving stems from a tradition that recognizes the first feast from when the Wampanoag Indians helped the early European colonist survive their first winters here in our country, circ 1600's, that's why it's called Thanksgiving, the colonists wanted to show their appreciation.

So on behalf of all our Native ancestors who gave their lives so we could live in fellowship together, you're welcome!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

NEW KiDS ON THE BLOCK- Please don't go girl

I was watching the American Music Awards tonight and the New Kids on the Block were performing with NSync on the same stage? Wow! I have to admit, I was huge New Kids on the Block fan back in the day. We're talking late 80's people, here's one of my old fav's from them! Oh gawd I feel so old listening to them!



Sexiest Man Alive

Okay so People magazine came out with Sexiest Man Alive issue and this year's winner is actor Ryan Reynolds. *pictured below*




Whatever. I flipped threw the magazine pictures and found another hottie who should've took this year's title and the real winner is actor JAKE GYLLENHAAL. Look at Jake's picture below and tell me if this picture doesn't make you want to rip his clothes off, I know I do!

I think Jake didn't make the cut for Sexiest Man Alive because of Broke Back Mountain, seriously. For all my foreign readers out there, the movie Broke Back Mountain is a love story about these two "straight" cowboys who fuck there way threw the Wyoming mountains, the acting is shitty but the loves scenes are awesome.

After doing Broke Back Mountain, I really think the Hollywood community decided to label Jake as a black sheep, whatever, Jake took a huge career risk playing a gay character and he should've been rewarded for it, not condemned. I thought the whole point of acting was to take on challening roles that expand our horizons?

His co-star in Broke Back was Australian actor Heath Ledger. Hollywood treated Heath the same way when he was alive. When Heath came out with a romantic comedy called Cassanova actress Kiera Nightly said it was redemption for doing Broke Back Mountain. Fuck you Kiera, I never liked any of her movies anyways. I hope her character dies in the next Pirates of the Carribian movie. RIP Heath, you're wonderful! ♥




Saturday, November 20, 2010

Native American comic Billie Smith

Even though this is a sketch from Saturday Night Live, which is live sketch comedy show in the United States, this kind've makes me sad because of the way Native comedians are portrayed. Shit, if they want to hear real Native jokes then they need to have one us on their show and then we'll see how much white man has of a sense of humor.

Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning

Oh baby! This is it, this song makes me want to wake up next to you!

xoxo

Half Naked Adam Levine, yum!

Here's my hottie Adam Levine posing for a picture.. Hot Hot Hot.. I can't believe I'm sharing with you guys, normally I'd be staring at his hot pictures by myself somewhere in a dark cave.

Men of Playgirl

Here's my Aunt Bev surrounded by the Men of Playgirl during our trip to Mt. Pleasant, Michigan., this past week. I would totally recommend to any lady go and do this with your gal pals, serisouly ladies, this was so much fun!


Friday, November 19, 2010

South Korea Fan

Of all the people who've been visiting my blog page lately, the most obscure blog fan I had was from South Korea but then it occured to me that it might be this really cute guy I use to chat with on gay.com

On a cold lonely night such as this one, I was looking for some intimacy online and found this guy whose screen name was Adam4love. Isn't that just the sweetest screen name you've ever heard in your life? I immediately got good vibes from him and pursued interest. You guys have to admit, upfront his screen name was already a winner because it was so original and genuine compared to the cock4u or jethro69's out there.

Anyhoo, this guy turned out to be a mixed martial artist and a banker, I know hot right? He was also half white and half Korean. If any of you guys are envisioning one hot piece of man hunk, this would be him. Like most gay men on gay.com, I think he was just looking for something to play around with and seeing what's out there.

I really tried to make myself available to him but he wasn't interested. That's too bad because if anybody knows me, they would've told you that I would've bought an airplane ticket to South Korea to check him out. This is really how enamored I was by him, after chatting with him several times I changed my screen name to charlie4love, crazy huh.

Looking back on it, I was so stupid, hard up and desperate. I guess that's what loneliness does to you. I guess I could be one of those horny gay guys that frequents bathhouses looking for anonymous sex but I'm soooo over that scene.

If my true love really is out there, he really is taking his sweet fuckin time finding me.

With that, I'm going to keep fighting the good fight by making myself available and being by friendly to the male masses. Hopefully with any luck, I'll find someone around my age who isn't damaged goods and that has good wood for me.

xoxo

Hot Angry Passionate Sex

sounds good until you have to explain to your co-workers how you got a black eye from your man's nutsack.

xoxo

Thursday, November 18, 2010

My Blog Stat's

Okay folks, this week I basically ran out've shit to talk about so I've decided to pull this weeks topic from the Blogger site itself. I was cruising threw my audience stats and was amazed to see whose been visiting my blog. Here's whose viewing my blog this week by country:

United States 199
Israel 19
Canada 5
Netherlands 5
South Korea 4
Germany 3
France 2
Denmark 1
United Kingdom 1
New Zealand 1

I took statistics in college and am going to do a breakdown for you guys, basically what this status report is saying is that if I play my cards right, I have a good chance of getting some dick from Isreal. I've seen men from there and am totally down. So, if any of you fine ass Hebrew men want to tap my corn hole, drop me a line and say hi sometime.

Here's the second stat, this is my all time stats by country on whose ever viewed my blogspot page:

United States 1,440
South Korea 118
Canada 79
Russia 40
Netherlands 31
Israel 29
Germany 26
United Kingdom 25
India 17
Hong Kong 16

Wow, thank you guys. I didn't know I had such a huge International reader following. I would just like to tell all my male readers that I do have a passport and am willing to travel a long way for some booty, all expense paid by you guys of course.

Otherwise you guys can keep stalking me on www.facebook.om/funnynative

xoxo

Dear Bloggers of the World!

Please keep your blogs short otherwise I won't be able to read them all. It's not that your blogs are boring, it's that they're long and boring.

Take a hint from professional blogger Perez Hilton, there's a reason why his website gets a million hits a day, it's because he says what has to say and gets out. He doesn't dwell, ramble, or fixiate himself on some 100 page dissertation on, "why black poka dots are different from white poka dots" . C'mon people, really?

See guys how I was able to make my point and now I'm wrapping this up, amazing huh!

xoxo

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Great Week

Had a great family week in Michigan and I can't believe it's over, time flew by so quickly.

We pulled into Detroit an hour ago, ordered pizza, and now it's time to crash. I'm going to sleep in sooo good tomorrow. As a matter of fact, I should be sleeping right now but then whose gonna write this blog? Maybe someday I'll be rich and famous to where I can hire an assistant to blog for me and be like, "okay, tell everyone I'm feeling like a diva today" . :)

So until that day happens, it's just me and you guys.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

xoxo

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Me-Gwetch *Thank You*

I can't believe my family reunion trip to Mt. Pleasant, Michigan., is almost over. We've all had such a great time enjoying each other's company.

I broke down crying again this evening when my family presented me with an eagle feather. It was a nice gesture from them and I was very thankful and appreciative for receiving it.



When I say I broke down crying again, earlier this weekend we spent time with some of our Anishnabe elders in part of a traditional wellness workshop and I'm very thankful I got to experience that with my aunt's and my mom. Lately I've been carrying around a lot of stress and it was time to let it go, so I'd like to thank Pumpkin for her kind words, it meant a lot.

Other than that, we've just been eating everyday and spending time a lot of time with relatives we haven't seen in a while. Gah, talk about stuff not having to do every day, here are some of the things we've done since we've been back in Michigan - Elders lunch, Gun Lake Veteran's Feast, Saginaw Chippewa Fall Feast, Saginaw Chippewa Veteran's Feast, Anthony's football game, going to the "Men of Playgirl" stripper show at the Soaring Eagle Casino and then closing out our weekend with a big family re-union dinner earlier this evening.

Alright guys, I got one more big activity coming up before we head back home and that's my comedy show for the college students at GVSU *Grand Valley State University* this upcoming Tuesday and I still gots to work out my performance routine for them.

Okay, I hope the each of you has a wonderful and joyous holiday with your loved ones because you know what, believe it or not, all of you are loved!

Stay Fresh!

xoxo

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Stripper night again?

How do I always manage to end up at a gay bar on stripper night?

We pulled into Grand Rapids, Michigan., late this evening and we were hauling ass so we could make it to the mini Native Film Festival that GVSU was hosting this evening as apart of Native Heritage Month.

When we arrived, we were greeted by a few Saginaw Chippewa tribal members who were hanging out in the quad area. They were pretty nice, as it turns out, they're the major sponsors for help bringing me in for next week's show. So the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe of Mt. Pleasant gets a big shout out, me-gwetch!

We went inside the GSVU campus and found the Loosemore auditorium where I'm going to be performing and it was beautiful. I'm sooooo looking forward to giving them a great show!

Right now it's about 1:30am Eastern time, I just got back from the local gay bars from where I was promoting the show. First, I went to Club Division and there was nobody there and I mean nobody. It's a cute club but for whatever reason, it just wasn't poppin there tonight. And the main reason it was probably wasn't poppin was because the entire crowd was at Rumor's, which was hosting gay stripper night. The crowd at Rumors was pretty live and I was really impressed with the energy, you could just tell the people were there to have a good time.

Now, as some of you may have been keeping track of my blogs, whenever I travel I always somehow manage to end up in a seedy gay strip joint and I always give you guys the low down on what the gay strippers are like because really, that's how you can tell you a lot about the gay culture, town and area you're in.

These strippers were a little on the old side, the crowd didn't seem to mind. My favorite gay stripper was, "Thunder" , he was really good. There must've been about 20 girls waiting for him to give them a quick lap dance on stage and I could see why, he was good. In the short time he was was with them, he made them all feel very special, whether it was picking them up, flipping them around, or passionately riding their backside. I actually learned a few moves from watching him so you guys know he had to be that good.

Because there was a live hot crowd, that's when I got the bright idea to make an annoucement for my upcoming show at GSVU. "Diamond" , the dragqueen emcee was really cool about it, she gave me a nice little shout out and was very pleasant about it. The crowd actually gave me an applause break when they heard my credits, I was like, "Wow" ! So we'll see what kind've crowd we draw next week!

I also got a mini tarot card reading at Rumor's. She was good, I enjoyed listening to her divinational interpretations. One thing was funny though, she kept sneezing during my reading. And then she said, "you know what I always believe, everytime you sneeze around someone that means they're psychic" , and then she went on to sneeze like 10 times in a row. Ho-wa! I said, "are you sure it isn't because I've been up since 7am and haven't showered since" ? I'm not psychic just stinky.

Anyhoo, I'm going to bed but not before I hit my ass with a nice bar of soap!

Goodnight everyone!

xoxo

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Drag Queen 1997

Check out my my very first drag performance at the Haskell Indian Nations University student talent show - 1997.

xoxo

GVSU Flyer

Check out this rad flyer for my upcoming GVSU show in Grand Rapids, Michigan next week! Whoo Hoo!

More Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved

Maroon 5 - Let's Stay Together

Maroon 5 Recap




Today was worth it. I got up early and got in line early to see Maroon 5 and now I'm totally exhausted. I did get to meet some cool people in line. I ran into some comics and they always make things interesting. Local comedian Misha Trubbs was there with his promotional crew and those guys were hilarious. Misha likes flirting with any girl that walks by him, so after they walked me back into line they started flirting with this lesbian couple. Those girls were really nice about it, they could've been total dicks but they were cool. That whole incident was hilarious to me because I was like, "dude, she has a mullet, I'm pretty sure she's not interested" .

I got in line about 4:30pm and we didn't go in until 7pm. I really think the cold weather snuck up on everyone outside, it was really cold. When we all finally got inside, the crowd looked pretty mixed but you wouldn't of known that by all the young asian kids that were waiting in line with me. For a quick second I felt out've place but then I just told myself, "whatev's" .

Everybody was pretty chill until these 3 white people tried to sneak in line with me. It probably wouldn't have bothered me so much if they weren't so damn snotty about it. I'm so sure, they're gonna try and jump the line in front of some people who've been waiting outside in the cold for 2 1/2 hrs, I don't think so. I went straight to the security people and snitched those little fuckers out. And when the security guard asked them to go the end of the line, which was around the block, they just got even snottier. And then they asked the security guard if it was me who ratted them out and I was like, "yep.. bye bye..." , and then I just walked into the club all pretty.

I know, not very lady like but fuck it, I was tired and annoyed. Anyhoo, I'm loading some video footage, I'll blog about it later!

xoxo

Monday, November 8, 2010

Maroon 5

I just got my passes for Maroon 5 tonight at the Fillmore in SF, here I come Adam Levine!! I'll be the big nellie queen screaming threw the top of my lungs saying, "I Love You" !!!

I was one of the last people standing in line for the free passes this morning, AC Transit almost fucked that up. I left early so I could get to the AT&T store when they opened at 9am. Of course, my bus was late and I didn't get into line until about 9:45am. When my AC Transit bus finally arrived at my stop, the driver was flipping threw her bus schedule like it was in a different language. Everyone knew she was super late because the other bus who was on time was driving right behind her. *Ugh*

I'm just glad we got Maroon 5 and not Katy Perry, and besides if I hear, "Teenage Dream" , one more time I'm going to scream.

xoxo



Saturday, November 6, 2010

To the left.. to the left..

I am in such a Beyonce mood, here are some of my favorite lyrics from the song Irreplacable:

"you must not know about me, you must not know about me,
I can have another you in a minute,
as a matter face he'll be here in a minute, baby.

you must not know about me, you must not know about me,
I can have another you by tomorrow so don't you ever don't
for a second get to thinkin you're irreplacable"


These lyrics are so true, I work at a Mexican restaurant and I've gone through so many bussers and kitchen cooks that's it's not even funny.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

New Beginnings





I learned about myself this week. I learned to forgive and move on.

My old friend Lisa Begaye said something back in college that I always kept with me.

She said people are like a wooden fence, you can put a nail in them, take it out but the scar from the nail will always remain.

So that's me people, full of scars.

I don't really come from a background where it's okay to express you're feelings and talk about your issues. I was raised to keep them bottled in and forget like nothing happened.

Lucky for me I have a few friends that I'm very fortunate to listen to my problems. *big shout out to Juicely*

So for me, my personal healing comes from bringing all my issues to light, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm not afraid to go there and talk about what's bothering me. This is where I find my sanity, compassion, wisdom, love for myself and others. I know it's hard for some people to face those feelings because they're old, stubborn, or they weren't raised that way. But trust me people, when you can find that inner peace, it really does ease the heavy burdens in our lives.

Love you all!

xoxo

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Not Obsesssed

I think when any of my blogs starts off by saying that I'm not obsessed, I'd definitely say that I am, atleast on some level.

What or who could I obsessing over, a dude of course. Not just any guy, a very funny guy. We were comedian friends a while back and then we had a falling out.

What caused it, let's just say at the time his shitty little girlfriend, who is also a comedian, didn't like it when she caught him warping my pictures online in his sparetime and then she had the nerve to call me out on stage like I had to do anything with it.

To be honest, looking back at it, I don't even think it was about him. Point blank, I never liked that bitch and that's why I never gave her the time of day. And I think this is where the attacks came from. Whatev's, I guess some people can't live without Charlie Ballard's personal, "you're so funny" , validation. Get over it bitch.

When she did that shit to me that night, I so held back because I just got back from L.A., and I was really tired so I immediately removed myself from the audience. I wanted to fire back and say, "what bothering you so much, that when he's fucking your pussy, he's thinking about me" ?

Who really knows what he thinks when he's boning her but I do know for a fact that he does have a thing for my bodacious ta ta's. So that was my little weapon whenever she was around, all I had to do was flash him my big pink panies and watch her start flipping out, which I really enjoyed by the way.

So anyhoo, one night I decided to get this bitch back by calling out this whole situation when her man was on stage, even though it was cute watching him try to talk his way out've it, I really regret going there because I knew that was the end of our friendship.

And what kills me the most is that I know he really likes my titty's. And I'm super fine with that because I want his big cock to cum all over them. I know he has a big cock because he use to brag about it all the time on stage.

So I guess that's what I'm kind've intrinsically obessesing over, I think I was on the path of getting some of his big juicy dick and then that little bitch fucked it up.

As everyone knows, for Halloween I dressed up as a dirty little slut and went to the Punchline Comedy Club. I saw him there and wanted to pull him aside and say, "you know what, I dressed up like a filthy slut just for you" .

I just saw him tonight and really, this is where this whole blog comes from. I thought it was really cute that we bumped into each in the Mission, he was on his way home and I was on my way to the Day of the Dead procession. It was fun watching the both of us trying to act civil to each other after knowing how much tension there is between us.

This is how fucked up I was over it at the time, after that incident happened, that's when I started shutting myself off to other comedians. I figured I'm not safe anymore associating with the other comedians because who knows what other shit people might try to pull on me, so that was a big reason why I decided to keep to myself and talk to a few people.

Some good things did come out've this. Has anyone seen my B & W photo's in my album page. This guy actually inspired that too. At the time I was like if you want to see my ass so much, let's take a picture of it because it will last longer. And really, those are some of my best portrait shots to date.

Oh well but I do still care for him and as always, I'm going to leave my door open for him because he's always invited in. I'm also going to leave my backdoor open for him too but I still I think he's into my titty's more.

xoxo

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Just one more



Damn you McDonald's Monopoly! I just needed Kentucky to win the Family Vacation prize! Uhhhhh!

That means all those Big Mac's, Chicken Nuggets, and French Fries I ate were all for nothing!

You better watch your back Micky Dee's, it's on!

We are the Champions!





Tonight the SF Giants beat the Texas Rangers to clinch the World Series 4 games to 1.

As soon as Brian Wilson threw the last pitch and struck out their last batter, everyone in SF went crazy! The streets were alive and there was orange/black everywhere!

Tim Lincecum was the starting pitcher tonight and he was throwing some serious heat. You could just tell he wanted to close out the Rangers and not let it drag on.

Honestly attraction wise, Tim's never been on my radar because he's not really my type but dang when he took off his cap and showed the whole world his beautiful hair, it gave me chills. And not to mention he's a World Series champion too, that certainly doesn't hurt either!

Go Giants!

xoxo

Monday, November 1, 2010

And the winner for best costume is..





Charlie Ballard as Punky Brewster!

Just kidding! OMG I had so much tonight, from putting whip cream on my titty's to getting cat calls from passing cars the whole night!

Earlier I went to the Punchline comedy club thinking they might put me up because I had on a killer outfit but as always, they keep putting up the same boring people so I just ended up cutting out.

Afterwards, I started walking up Market St. and oh my goodness, everybody was just giggling at me left and right, especially from the ladies. Everyone was just feeling my outfit which made want to hit the dance floor real bad.

I could not believe how friendly everyone was to me tonight. It's like I should've been wearing daisy dukes and a pink tank top my whole life.

When I got to Badlands I kept telling myself I was the hottest mutha fuckin dancer in da house and everyone was eating it up because they kept pointing, giggling, and smiling!

The dragqueens, twinks, fag hags, bears, military men, straight couples, and bartenders were all just lovin me tonight. It felt so wonderful! I'm so glad I could bring so much joy to there Halloween.

The best compliment I got from the night was when these drunk queens who walked by and said, "girl you get best costume for the night" !

Anyhoo, I hope everyone had a great Halloween, I know I did!

xoxo