Monday, June 28, 2010

Beautiful Friend of the Two Spirits




In this video, a Santee Sioux elder talks about the early Gay American Indian *GAI* Movement in San Francisco, CA. Thank you sister for sharing your story! Aho!
Taped 6.27.10

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Week 9

Week 9: today's weigh in is 261

I'm alright with that, I really thought I'd be up considering all the heavy eating I did this week. I really could've did without a lot of things, so for this week, I'll take what I can get. My second wind is coming July 1, my short term goals always work well on the first of the month!

I think what saved me this week was all the running I did this week. I had a friend at work ask me if I've been losing weight and again, I think I look more toned from all the running. So some of my fat probably did turn to muscle.

Alright, there's still 15 weeks left for me to make a personal difference, I know I can do it, I just gotta stay committed to following threw!

xoxo

Dirty

It's the beginning SF Pride weekend and I should be somewhere in SF doing something dirty but nope, I got called in to work tomorrow, so I gotta stay home tonight and be well rested so I can make that cash.

Just got back from SF. Tonight I went to the Purple Onion to watch a new comedian perform, her name is Karinda Dobbins. Remember that name people, I really think she's going to be the next funny lady to spring out've the Bay Area.

Afterwards, I had to make a mad dash to the LGBT Center to watch the tail end of the Native dragqueen show. As always, those girls are fabulous. I was really surprised how many girls there were this year. It looks like their numbers are picking up.

Oh man, there was so much food leftover it wasn't even funny. You know this big girl wasn't gonna let all that food go to waste. I must've took home a bagful, that's good, now I don't have to shopping for a week.

I'll be marching this Sunday with the Bay Area Two Spirit contingent, I think we're #54 in the parade line up this year. I can't wait!

Tomorrow I hope I can find time to take a headshot with Adam Bouska, if anyone doesn't know who he is, he's doing a National photo campaign promoting gay marriage. Trust me, if you've ever seen a photo from this series, you'd know his work. They're going to be a the W Hotel tomorrow, right across the street from my work, so I'm hoping I can squeeze an appointment in. I'll post that picture when it becomes available.

I'll also be posting videos and pictures from this weekend, it should be alot of fun!

Okay, here's a quick little prayer for this weekend:

"Dear Creator, as I'm celebrating my 12th year of sobriety this upcoming weekend, I've been good and I know you've seen me try, so please send a little booty my way, amen

p.s. and Lord, peace, goodwill, prosperity, and good feelings to everyone" .

Happy SF Pride everyone!

xoxo

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Yay! I got tipped a dollar tonight !!

How awesome is that. I just came back from performing at the Punchline Comedy Club in San Francisco and had a wonderful time. After my performance, I really don't think the front row will ever feel the same way about hearing the happy birthday song ever again, just a hunch. One of the ladies in the front row tipped me a dollar, that was nice but I asked her to give the dollar to her man and have him shove it down my shirt instead, call me jaded. What did I do to have something like that happen to me in the first place some of you maybe asking yourselves, well, I really hate to give it away so you guys will just have to make a better effort to see me do stand up comedy on stage someday but know this, it was fun.

I really haven't blogged about comedy in a while, wow, I almost wrote that like I have an actual life.

Let see, I think I stopped blogging about comedy because I wasn't getting anywhere with it. And to be honest, who wants to hear me whine & bitch about show business. I don't mind talking about it once in a while but I've been trying to keep my other interest abroad. Oh snap, did I just a big word - abroad? I think abroad means sexy or something?

Anyhoo, I was stressing a little this week because I've been dieting & excercise for the past 8 weeks and I'm exactly where I started 8 weeks ago. Ain't that some shit. On a more postive note, I must've logged about 50 miles of jogging time on my calender since I started a couple months back, that's good but still, I need to stop snacking heavily after my runs, that's what kicking my butt. And because of it, this past weekend I gave into two of my old vices, cigarretes and soda. I know, I'm so bad. Usually when I drink pepsi or coke at night, the caffiene keeps me up into the wee hours of the morning but this weekend, after a little puff puff and some fizzle fizzle, I was out cold. I can't remember sleeping that good in a while. Thank goodness somebody called in the morning otherwise I probably would've slept the entire afternoon. And just for clarification, just because somebody called this morning doesn't mean that I actually dragged my lazy ass out've bed to pick up the phone, hell no darlings, that's why we have a answering machine.

In the afternoon, we did manage to make it the Contemporary American Indian Arts Festival at the Yerba Buena Gardens in SF. My main goal for going was to distribute my show flyers and announce it for this upcoming August. When it comes to my big shows, I'm all about the promotion baby! The festival was nice. Every year they wonderful Native entertainment and do such a great job putting it together. I performed it a couple of years ago and had a great time.

Before I headed out to SF tonight, I was able to watch the second episode of the new True Blood series on HBO. OMG, I so love that show. The kiddies can keep the Twilight series, I'll take slutty vampires and naked werewolves from that show any day of the week.

Alright darlings, have a wondeful week and stay happy!

xoxo

Go Janet




This is one of my favorite video's from the Janet Jackson collection, the silouette of the asian girl dancing in the blonde wig was so me back in the day, really, that's how I use to dance. The 3 girls walking into the club like they were the shit, that was me too!

xoxo

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Week 8

This week's weigh in: 262 I know, can you believe it, it's like I'm starting from day 1 all over again. On the upside, in the past 8 weeks, I did manage to get 50 miles of jogging time in. This week I really let myself go, here are some of the things that did me in, drinking soda, eating Zachary's Pizza, and lunching at Mickey D's after work. Sorry for being a shitty weight loss leader everyone, this is turning out a lot tougher than I thought! I'm still committed just gotta stop the insanity!

xoxo

Girlie Justin





I was not feeling at the club tonight until this song came on and then I was like, "watch out girlfriends, give mama some room" !!!

xoxo

Friday, June 18, 2010




This minstrel comedy dragqueen is all the rage, she's being boycotted all over the country because she's act is offensive to black people. What do you guys think? Is there a place for modern day blackface entertainment in today's culture?

Personally, she made me giggle. She's got black women down and like any good comedian, she can exagerrate with the best of them, is that not the point?

The Truth About Charlie

What a week, my toes got licked, Perez Hilton posted a beaver shot of Miley Ray Cyrus on his website, and the President of BP denied any wrong doing for the Gulf of Mexico oil leak disaster. Seriously, if you're the president of a multi-billion dollar oil business and you've been kept out've the loop from your companies minutemen, then maybe you shouldn't be the president of a major oil company in the first place.

Lastnight I got to host the Brainwash Cafe and this dragqueen named Cassandra Gorgeous performed. She made some kind've comment about how her coochie is so big the oil leak in the gulf ain't shit compared to hers. I have to admit, that put a smile on my face. Just thinking about how much damage the BP oil leak has caused makes my heart sick, so it was nice to hear Miss Thing come on stage and put her own little twist on things. It days like that when comedy comes in handy.

SF Pride is coming up next weekend and I'm so excited! I can't believe it's been a whole year since the last one. This year my homegirls from AZ said they were gonna come up but had to change plans at the last minute. Dang and I was sooooo looking forward to having a good time with them, I mean really, isn't that what Pride is supposed to be all about - kicking it with your girlfriends and throwing back whoppers ? It's cool, I'll probaly just find some little Mexican men to latch onto and say, "hey, who wants to hit my pinata" ?

Alright ya'll, have a great weekend!

xoxo

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I'm Wonder Woman Bitch




My magical wrist braclets are bulletproof bitch.....* the lyrics to this song so fit what I'm going threw right now * I love it !!

xoxo

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

You Give Great Toe

Hey guys, here's a love letter from this dude who was into my feet, I thought it was very sweet but in a very weird way.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Charlie :¬D !!!
I guess I finally got around to sitting in front of My computer again, :¬) You have some very peculiar ways... I was wondering why You wouldn't let Me walk You to Your vehicle. Man, I really enjoyed Your company last night despite Your "frosty" disposition.
I enjoyed EVERYTHING, GOD! it sure beats the hell out anything that I could imagine or simulate in My Mind, My dick is so satisfyingly sore but because YOUR SEXY BIG FEET were there I AM LOVING the FEELING :¬D
Man! I'm getting concrete hard right now visualizing how You were alternately gripping & stroking Me between the BIG & 2nd TOES of Your right & left FEET...I remember You to Me that I will NOT be seeing You around for a long time, so I guess I better try hard as hell to hang onto the sensation and feeling of how the SOLES of YOUR FEET against My skin, how My nipples feel between YOUR TOES, how it felt when You dug YOUR TOES into My nut sac & played with My balls with the TIPS of YOUR BIG TOES and how You used them to explore the opening of My piss hole.
And then when YOU made come with YOUR SOLES and TOES...You TURNED ME OUT CHARLIE!!! So now I am ...will be cursed to BURN in LUST and be CONSUMED by FIRE for YOU in YOUR ABSENCE - NO other MAN that has ever touched down on My sacred ground with His FEET and has walk there has ever had that effect and has so thoroughly drained My reservoirs out !!! :¬D
Anyway, My Friend, I hope that You do come around again before I launch off to Europe for 1 year... :¬)
oh! another thing, My Friend keep Your heart warm for those Who are warm to You...don't turn cold, stay warm, You are a warm Person.. do NOT let the ravages, the frozen wastelands and the dysfunctional neurotic souls You encounter in this so called "gay" life or world change You into another cold person who treats everyone like a commodity for sexual conquest to be used and then discarded.
Stay connected with Your Soul and remember Who You are, remember Your humanity but what I'm saying to You does NOT mean that You must disarm Yourself & be vulnerable to the world, but what I'm saying is to be warm, don't harm anyones' spirit with coldness or disregard, and also for You to avoid Yourself being harmed by exposing Yourself to people who are already cold and lost to their own humanity...
for Your information, would have loved to cuddle with You afterwards, demonstrate My warmth and genuine liking for You Charlie ;¬) there's more to You than just Your feet, Man! Although they have the "effect" of giving You the status of a GOD in the way I respond to You, ha-ha-ha!!! :¬D

-------------------------------------------------------------

Well I don't know about all that but I can tell you guys this, I'm done with fetish dating, it's just not my thing.

However, there is more guy out there that I have score to settle with, so if he's reading this blog, my aching titty's are waiting for you..

xoxo

Monday, June 14, 2010

Footloose

Below is a letter I sent to Dan Savage, who writes a sex column for the The Stranger in Seattle:
-----------------------------------------------------


Hi Dan,
I'm a 30 something gay guy from the Bay Area. A few years back I hooked up with this guy who had a foot fetish. His dick got hard everytime my toe's came near his cock. Back then, this was a new thing for me, it seemed safe, innocent, and I was more than happy to put my best foot forward if you know what I mean. Anyhoo, as the evening the progessed, I told him that I wanted to get fucked in the ass and he said my ass didn't do it for him. And immediately I thought of your GGG advice, right? So if he wasn't going to accommodate me, then why should I accommodate him? So I did the worst thing you can possibly think of, I left with blue balls.
Flash forward to lastnight, we met at the grocery store, got to talking, and went back to his place. I explained to him that I was hurt because that whole evening was about him and not me. I told him I was more than willing to satisfy him with my little piggy's if there was something in it for me. To make a long story short, I got what can only be described at the best 4hr foot massage minus the cum on my feet. Thanks for the GGG advice otherwise I never would've had the courage to stand up for myself.
xoxo
Foot Ryder

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Week 7

It's that time of the week to check my weight and it shot up 2lbs. I'm at 258. I'm a little pissed at myself because I know exactly why I've been teetering lately. It's time to re-commit myself!

It's looks like I'll have to start doing the FA diet again because my food choices are getting out've control.

I'm not pissed but more determined!

xoxo

This week's weigh in: 258

Thursday, June 10, 2010

30,000 Blog Hits !!

Wow! Since I've been blogging on myspace, I've accumulated 30,000 blog hits as of June 10, 2010 - 12:52am. I'm so amazed by that.

I was just reading the paper about this other lady whose blog has been averaging about 30,000 hits a day. Her blog is very serious and she connects with her people on a deeper level, which I think is really cool. I'm quite the opposite.

I hope everyone knows by now that I try to keep my blog fun and entertaining. There's too much sadness and pain in the world to dwell on. My main goal was to create a space where people could go and forget their troubles like a bar but without the drunkard side affects.

So I'd like to wish everyone a personal toast and thank you guys again for sharing my blog with me.

It's time for another break. So ya'll don't be missing me too much!

xoxo

My Best Tweets This Week

Here are my best Tweets this week via Twitter!
www.twitter.com/charlieballard

xoxo

1) I really hope I don't get everything I want in life, otherwise what would be the point in wanting it?

2) when I was 18 all i use to think about was sex, now that i'm 36 years old all i think about are sandwiches

3) I have the best un-used 36 year gay ass in Oakland

4) Bradley Cooper "Face" from the movie A-Team is kind've fine, why can't I meet a guy like that, probably because I don't have real titty's

5) always looking for ways to improve my greener pasture, how about adding corn dog stand?

6) The line of the night, this one mexican queen looks at Kathy Peltier and says, "go and get you some d*ck girl" !! Go Kathy! xoxo

7) if you want to go to Mcdonald's and fuck your diet up with 10 cheeseburgers, retweet this!

8) I'd probably date a Native guy who turns into a werewolf, but where can I find an Indian man that changes into a horse

9) some people get so testy if they follow you and you don't follow them

10) I can't change the past, I can only hope I made the best decisions to make it this far

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Cheer Up




Sometimes all we need is a little cheering up! Have a good one everybody!

xoxo

Fighting Gravity




These guys are my favorite act on America's Got Talent so far! They're off the hook! Enjoy!

xoxo

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Prince Poppycock




This guy was amazing. I myspaced him and told him he was a throw back to old school opera and classical music. Prince Poppycock is awesome, he makes Mozart look like a pussy. Enjoy!

Parody on Anti-Gay PSA




This was actually pretty funny, here's a parody on that anit-gay PSA! Enjoy! xoxo

Old Anti Gay PSA

here's an old school anit-gay PSA ad, this was too funny! I watched this video a couple of times and have come to the conclusion that hitchhiking makes you gay.

Here's my response to the talking points

1) on being overly friendly, it's because I want to talk somebody's ear off about me

2) trying to win over your confidence over too quickly, that means I want to borrow $ money from you

3) if I'm overly personal, I don't really care about you, I'm just stalling until I can turn the conversation back to me

Monday, June 7, 2010

Weekend Recap


me and Adam Beach pictured above


Alright, let's do the weekend recap. As soon as I pulled into the airport, guess who I saw - Mike Simpson. He's one of my old straight guy friends who I use to party with back at Haskell. What a great surprise.

From there I picked up Kathy and her mom and they went with me to the Buffalo Thunder Casino. Fortunately the casino gave me a business suite and we had more than enough room to accommodate everyone. That room was really nice. I was blown away with the hotel decor and the whole layout. I said it once and I'll say it again, the Buffalo Thunder Casino Resort was one of the Best Top 5 Indian Casino's I've ever stayed in.

After getting settled in Friday evening, me and Kathy took off back to the ALB. We got to Sidewinders late but still it was fun. I really liked Sidewinders because it reminded me of Serape's in Phoenix.

Saturday was cool. My new friend Marissa from Tesuque invited us over to their Corn Dance. I wanted to take pictures but they didn't allow recording of any kind during the event. Man, I have to give it up to the Tesuque Corn dancers, it had to be atleast 95 degree's out and they kept on dancing.

Of course me being Charlie Ballard, I had to inadvertently say something stupid. When we were headed over to Marissa's house, I saw a bunch of people sitting outside on her porch so I looked at them and said, "are you guys all waiting to go inside and eat" ? And as it turned out, those guys were her family and they were just chillin on the porch. My bad. By the way, when we did get around to eating, there homecooking was really good. They had a good spread, 3 different kinds of stew, pueblo enchilada's, fruit salad, and so so much more food.

Afterwards, we rolled back to the casino because I had to prepare for the show. The crowd was great and everyone was awesome! The other performing acts were James & Ernie, Bill Miller and Native Roots.

Around midnite me and my partner in crime, Kathy, took off back to Santa Fe. We went to Milagro's and got turned away because they were having a private party, so as we were asking the bouncer what were the good places to go in town I noticed this cute Native guy checking me out, low & behold guess who it was, it was Native actor Adam Beach. Now when I say he was checking me out, I mean in a way that the general public checks me out. Try to imagine this big flaming Native queen with a nellie ass walk crossing the street in a small town, now you guys can see why he was checking me out.

So anyhoo, we introduced ourselves and chatted with him for a bit. I told him right away, "I was the gay guy who called you on Neyom's blogtalkradio show" , and he remembered that call. He was like, "yeah, you asked some good questions" . After we exchanged pleasentries, I wanted to take a picture with him, so I aggressively grabbed him and he said, "what are you trying to do, marry me" ? Hahah .. he's so funny but I was like, "hey, if doesn't work out, call me" .

So I asked Adam what he was doing at Milagro's and as it turned out, he was in town shooting a movie called - "Cowboys & Aliens" . It sounds alright, I know it's going to be entertaining because Adam's going to be in it too. Honestly, Adam could be on a packet of cheese and it'd still be great!

After that, me & Kathy went to Evangelo's, which was a club right across the street. It was cute, it was hee/haw bar upstairs and a hip hop club downstairs in the basement. The layout reminded me of L.A.'s *Los Amigo's* back in Lawrence, Kansas. We hung out there for the rest of the night and got our groove on.

Oh man, I was dancing next to this white couple and that guy, started doing these crazy footloose moves and it was all good until he accidently kicked me in the knee cap real hard with his footloose moves. And the he was all, "sorry about dude, but hey, try do my moves, copy me" , and I was just standing there holding my knee cap, looking at him like, "look muthafucker, you just knocked me in my knee cap real hard and now you want to me copy your dumb ass" ? So of course, I grab my good knee and start copying him like a dumb ass. Who am I not to keep the party going?

Alright ya'll, thanks for checking in!
xoxo

Week 6

This diet blog is a little late, I was supposed to write this yesterday but I was in Pojoaque doing a gig and didn't have time.

I did manage to lose 1lb last week but I'm pretty sure I messed it up with all the free buffet passes the casino gave me.

It's all good because I still got 5 days left of this week to kick butt!
And since I kept my binging to the weekend, I probably ate more than I should've today, mostly airport food though.

Today's Weigh in: 256

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Recent Press Write Up

Comedian Charlie Ballard is everywhere. He has recently been on Comedy Central, featured in Indian Country Today and has performed at numerous showcases and festivals. Charlie will also be on the upcoming season of NBC's "America's Got Talent." A semi-finalist in NBC's "2005 Stand Up for Diversity" competition, Charlie does comedy his own way. Raised in the Bay Area, he is of Sac and Fox/Anishinaabeg heritage.